On Halloween 2005, I, Bernie T. Baxter, brought unto this city my famous traveling sideshow and ever since then I’ve been bringing back my personal friends to visit the city just one more time.
Every year, the deal has been the same. One of my good friends who had a long history terrorizing this fair town gets the chance to come back for a few precious nights to finish his or her reign of terror on you, the unsuspecting public.
In the ten years since we’ve made it a tradition to bring back New Orleans’ finest murders, madmen and all-around bad guys. We’ve told you tales of sculptors driven mad trying to create the perfect work, psychiatrists killing their patients to hide their failures and one evil real estate developer who murdered the city’s destitute rather than rehouse them.
But this year, my friends have something very special in store. You see, they wanted to thank me for my decade of gracious generosity. So, rather than bringing one of them back for another hurrah in the city they terrified years before, this year, they’re bringing the party to my doorstep and are throwing me an anniversary the celebration the likes of which has never been seen.
That’s right, for this year and this year alone, you get to visit the house of Bernie Baxter. You’ll visit my humble abode and take part in the festivities surrounding our 10-year anniversary. Basically, it’s a party and you are all invited.
Best of all, we’re not bringing back one or two of New Orleans’ worst, no, we’re bringing back the entire rogues gallery that has filled our halls since day one. From murderous couples, to skull collectors, this year we will have it all.
But be warned, many have dared to enter my home before and many didn’t make it out alive. Now, with nearly a dozen of my best friends (and the city’s worst enemies) the odds are worse than ever.
So, if you are feeling brave, feel free to join the party. No need to bring a gift, no need for an invitation. Just bring yourself and, your scream and your best pair of running shoes.
Just don’t be surprised if you get asked to stay awhile. And by that I mean permanently.